When I was in high school I thought that all of the boys around me weren’t worth my time and that I shouldn’t try to date at all. But, like with most things, I thought that would all change in college and everyone told me that it would. All of the women in my life that I looked up to in high school told me that I would meet someone that I really liked in college, they were sure of it. Well, that hasn’t happened.
I just finished my junior year of college and I feel like I should be dating. I don’t want to, the guys that I meet don’t even come close to meeting my expectations and my brain won’t let me compromise. Recently I talked to my younger brother about this and he said I shouldn’t compromise on my high expectations. That I should wait, which is a statement that I’m very familiar with having grown up as a Mormon although it’s not waiting in the same way now. My point is, I consider myself a modern and independent woman and waiting to date someone until I meet someone who I’m really interested in is not a modern idea. I don’t want perfect but I do know what would be perfect for me. I really want the whole package and I have waited all these years so what’s a few more?
The downside is, I’ve already missed out on so much and I’ve already outgrown things that I wish I could have had. I’ll never have a highschool sweetheart, I’ll never have a college sweetheart. I’m 20 years old and since I won’t be dating anyone in the near future then by the time I do start dating it will be serious. When you’re young, you can date for a long time without really taking big steps. From what I have observed, in non-Christian relationships, your teen years are for fun relationships where the outcome is that you get all your firsts out of the way and that’s the most serious it usually gets. Then in your early to mid 20s the most serious, desired outcome is moving in together. Then in your late 20s the outcome is getting married because if you do want to get pregnant and have kids then you have to get married in your late 20s and maybe early 30s but then you have to rush to get pregnant. I’m very aware of the biological clock thing and I technically have 15 years before I’m in serious danger of never having children without serious complications.
However, I’m going to spend my 20s getting higher education and establishing my career in psychology. I also want to have children so there’s my early 30s and by that point I think that might be it for me. I don’t think my life will change that much after that. Maybe by that time it will be easier, my brother seems to think that people who get into relationships when they’re older have a better chance of being in love for a longer portion of their relationship. But I will be missing out on a lot which is such a weird thing to be both too young and too old in so many ways. Essentially, I’m aiming to avoid having to kiss a ton of frogs.
I’ve also realized that being on a dating app is not exciting to me at all because none of the guys I meet interest me and the swiping aspect that used to be fun for me is no longer fun. It’s just boring and exhausting and I know that none of the guys are ever going to meet any of my expectations. So I guess I’ll just be waiting for someone special so we’ll see how that goes. Maybe I’ll regret this later, maybe I’ll be alone forever but at this point in my life I don’t want to settle and I think too much of myself to put myself in an unhappy relationship. So for now I’ll just focus on my future, read romance novels, and wait for Prince Charming as cheesy as that sounds.
