Did you seriously consider your profile?
Did you think about what each photo says about you as a person?
I definitely did. I am judging every photo you choose as being your personality to a T.
You chose your best selfies, half of which were taken in the mirror.
At least I know what you look like.
Points off for only seeing you through a mirror.
Did you put a photo of yourself and a dog?
Is that even your dog?
Oh, wait, you wrote that it is in your bio.
So much so that you seem like a hardcore dog person.
You probably aren’t, there are tons of guys doing the same.
You think that girls like dogs, you think it makes you seem more appealing.
It doesn’t. If you were unattractive and a douchebag before, the dog won’t change that.
Do you really want to get the girl who only wants you for your dog?
Did you seriously put a photo of you holding a giant fish you just caught?
Really?
Just no.
No.
NO.
Your bio says conservative.
Again, no.
No.
NO.
Your first photo is in a group.
The majority of your photos are with a group.
Which one are you?
Is your self-esteem that low?
You’re just in town for a few days.
Does that get you matches?
I’m not going to be your one night stand.
You want me to show you around.
That’s something I’ll offer if I want.
Don’t invite yourself to my tour.
Fluent in sarcasm.
Of course I believe you.
Every guy on here has put that they workout.
Do I believe you?
Is this an important part of your life or have you been programmed by society to think that that will make you seem very attractive to women?
You mentioned a sense of humor.
I look for that too.
But our conversations are dry.
You don’t actually joke around.
Are you not self-aware?
Humor is an attribute prescribed to you.
Not one you can assign to yourself.
You give short,
boring answers to any question.
You seem to have no idea how to keep the conversation going.
You make a lot of The Office references.
Oh, wait.
You just say that you make references to The Office.
I have no proof of that.
You say that you just want something casual.
Fair enough.
I’ll leave you alone.
Did you consider your profile?
I considered mine.
I wanted to put my best foot forward.
I want to have a good conversation.
I want to root for you.
Am I asking too much?
Am I reading too much into it?
This is disappointing.
I’m deleting this app.
